On balancing structure and spontaneity
At the beginning of the summer, I took a psychology test which told me my brain walked the line of solving problems through a lense of structure, organization, planning and logic with an entirely contrasting lense of raw spontaneity, big picture-thinking, risk-taking and speed. Essentially, I learned that my decision making was being governed by two entirely opposing perspectives. This illumination into my psyche has ignited an increase in self-awareness which left me pondering the question I will try to answer in this post:
How can we balance our desire to optimize our time and do what’s best for our future while trying to live in the moment and enjoy our lives?
Breaking this down further, the main questions at the root of this were the following: >How can I balance my thirst for adventure with the need for discipline? >How can I implement the structure necessary to keep me aligned with my goals and values, while still leaving room for spontaneity? >How can I balance planning for the future with living in the moment?
One of the biggest challenges I have faced while trying to answer these questions is that I resented structure when I felt it was suffocating my creativity and adventurous side.
Sometimes, structure is highly effective and necessary. For example, when studying for an exam, implementing a study schedule or structured approach to optimize your time can be highly beneficial. This is an area where structure and discipline are useful to produce optimal results. Another area where I began to consistently implement structure was in a morning routine. The reason I found structure helpful here was because it really didn’t cost me anything in my “adventure bubble” to start my day intentionally and consistently. If I finished my morning routine, and still felt a burning desire to hop on my bike with nowhere to go, I could 100% do that. If I finished my morning routine and felt a strong sense of creativity and wanted to write or even the desire to knock off a few to do’s - those were all on the table. On the mornings I started off less intentionally and consistently, I found that a lot of mental energy bled into questions like: ‘how am I going to start my day?’, ‘what should I be doing?’, ‘what is most important right now?’. These were all questions I answered naturally when I started my day with my morning routine. Thus, by implementing structure here, I was just saving myself mental energy in the long-term.
That being said, structure can also sometimes take over too many components of our lives to the point where it feels like there’s no room for the spontaneity and adventure that we may crave. In my case, because this adventurous ‘lense’ occupies more than half of my brain space, it’s important to acknowledge and work with these tendencies so that I can act in alignment with both of these bubbles.
Places that I began to leave room for spontaneity were weekends, evenings and a general yes policy where I try to say yes to most opportunities which I consider ‘ripe’ - i.e. will never be as available, juicy and fresh as they are right now. Ripe opportunities might be seeing a friend who is only in town for a night, saying yes to going sky diving with a stranger (extreme), going on a spontaneous trip because flight prices were cut in half or even something as simple as taking part in a dinner with your housemates or best friends which is only going to take an hour out of your otherwise structured night.
Spontaneity and adventure are pretty much entirely a function of our willingness to take risks, act despite fear and be completely present. These risks are also not always as obvious as you think. Sure, saying yes to jumping out of an airplane is obviously risky, but so is saying yes to an opportunity that might prevent you from getting to bed when you usually do, studying the three chapters you were planning on getting done that night or waking up bright and early for your morning routine.
This is where my struggle always seeped in:
When is it appropriate to say yes to an opportunity which will disrupt the structure I’ve been trying to implement?
I wish I had a concrete, black and white answer for you, but I don’t. I do have something though and it’s this: The most effective way to balance structure with spontaneity that I’ve found - which allows room for adventure while not defeating the purpose of the structure you depend on - is to practice some time under tension with that structure.
Time under tension
Structure is important if you’re trying to change habits or build new ones, do the most with your time and perform well in a certain domain of your life (academically, physically, intellectually, etc.). Existing under the tension of structure is necessary to see if that structure actually works. Once you have determined that you indeed can stick to the structure you have laid out for yourself , you can then begin to colour outside the lines, weaving in experiences riddled with adventure and spontaneity when you deem it appropriate. By bringing in this taste of spontaneity once you have proved to yourself you can stick to the structure and it does accomplish what it was intended for, you have given yourself some wiggle room to ‘zig and zag’ here and there, as long as you know you can come back to that structure and stick to it instead of letting the spontaneity throw you off of the structure bandwagon entirely.
So, how do we really know when to press pause on the structure and jump into spontaneity?
Self awareness
It might not be the sexiest answer, but it’s the only one that can truly tell you when you need to buckle down and zone in on what you need to do, and when you can look up, and grab onto something that is right in front of you at the sacrifice of what you planned on doing instead. The best way to find out what works best foreach of us is a little trial and error and by reflecting on what our priorities are. When we learn to prioritize the things in our lives, it becomes clearer which ones we can afford a little wiggle room on and which ones we know we need to stick to.
So, while structure is important and I depend on it heavily, I also am a big believer in saying yes, even when it’s not part of the plan. Sometimes you just gotta dive in. Don’t take your life too seriously and learn to really live. It’s all balance, but if you ever feel like you’re leaning too much to either side, remember that there are easy ways to realign with both bubbles. Grabbing onto some structure can be as easy as sitting down to plan your week, setting an alarm with a to do list to tackle in the morning or trying a new, structured exercise plan. Conversely, if you’re craving some adventure, grab a friend and go to a park or a beach you’ve never been to, hop on your bike with no destination and just ride, or go to a restaurant you’d never typically go to and order something that makes you raise your eyebrows. Sometimes, it’s in the unplanned and the unexpected moments where we stumble into the most enriching discoveries, conversations and experiences. It all starts with saying yes.
We tend to overcomplicate things, but sometimes it’s as simple as taking a few minutes to think about what we feel like we’re missing, and then taking action to fill that gap in the simplest way possible.
Life without structure is chaos. But life without spontaneity is bland. We need both.
Structure is a great way to make the outline for a wonderful life, but the adventure is what fills it in. Think of life like a picture: The structure you implement is the stencil used to decide what kind of life you want to create at a basic level, and the spontaneity and adventure are the bright colours that go between those lines, making that picture beautiful. And guess what, if you colour a little outside the lines here and there, I can guarantee your picture will still be vibrant, beautiful and fascinating. So, take some time to plan that outline, and then grab your paint brush and dive right in. Trust structure, but also colour your life with adventure - it’s more interesting that way :)
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