Watching the first-hand accounts of the harm caused by Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics unravel in the past few weeks has been heart-breaking and extremely eye-opening for me. Learning that the role models of my childhood were victims of sexual abuse while training for the Olympics is not something I could have ever predicted. These gymnasts were the ones my friends and I looked up to and talked about every day as the Summer Olympics approached. They embodied everything we strived to be as gymnasts and as individuals, always seeming so effortlessly happy and graceful, both in competition and in their everyday lives. It never crossed our minds that something so painful and challenging could have been happening behind everything we were seeing. Each testimony hurt to watch. I started with Jordyn Weiber’s, which led me to Aly Raisman’s, and soon enough I was knee deep in the heart-wrenching accounts of the struggles each of these girls faced during some of the most innocent and formative years of their lives.
Why did this happen and why is it comming out now?
There are walls which protect perpetrators like Nassar from society. These are the walls that need to be broken. By speking up, these girls are breaking more than just their silence.
They are breaking walls.
Here’s the thing about these walls; they don’t just break down organically. They don’t just crumble under the natural forces of the atmosphere. They are built to last through time and endure through natural deterioration. Somehow, these walls find a way to persist, to remain, and to continue protecting the horrific acts of these monsters who rely on them to preserve the privacy of their cruelties. These walls are not invincible, however. These walls can be broken down, but not easily. There needs to be a lot of force, coming from many different sources, and at different angles. These walls need to be broken down at every point of strength until they crumble to dust and fall to the ground, revealing the atrocities committed behind them. Each one of these monsters has a wall around them, built by the institutions, colleagues, friends or family members who may have protected them from the public. The ones who decided that keeping up these walls was more beneficial to them even if it meant inflicting permanent harm and trauma on those affected by the acts behind these walls. These walls are strong. They have layers of protection built in. One person cannot break down a wall, but an army most definitely can.
And that is why #MeToo has been such an incredibly ground-breaking and critical turning point in sexual abuse culture. Once people realize others have had parallel experiences to them, they develop a sense of comfort with sharing their story and they become willing to take on these walls. Here is what we now know: people can ignore a stray voice, people can dismiss a story or an accusation or even a few, but people cannot turn a blind eye to the unity of so many individuals speaking out about the same issue. People cannot ignore the thread of consistency and pain weaved into the experiences of each of these women. Despite the similarity of their experiences, the power of the testimonies came from hearing how each of their lives were uniquely tainted by the cruel choices of this evil perpetrator who proceeded unscathed for so long. These women do not need to speak out, but they are choosing to, because they finally see that there is an army behind them, uniting to tackle this wall as a single unit. There are no more stray voices, dismissed stories or unheard testimonies.
There is now an army, and each day more are joining in an effort to dismantle every wall protecting every monster in existence. We now see how many people will be spared by the misdeeds committed behind these walls if we are just willing to speak up.
Sometimes, it is difficult and scary to make oneself vulnerable, especially when it comes to such a private and traumatic experience. However, the resilience and strength these women have demonstrated is absolutely astounding. Their willingness to expose some of the darkest times in their lives purely to protect the futures of young women who could be victims as well is a truly remarkable act which should be admired by all of us. Instead of analyzing each story of sexual abuse to determine the degree of its impact, we should be uniting behind the courageous individuals willing to expose their most raw and heart-breaking experiences in an effort to spark progress. Being taken advantage of by anyone, especially at a young age, can be something that is extremely difficult to come to terms with and even believe. However, being willing to expose that to the world and open oneself up to the questions, doubt and backlash which so often follows the brave breaking of silence is a true act of courage. Though these testimonies and stories are difficult to watch and read about, we have to consider how much harder it is for them to come out and share these experiences with us. For us, it’s painful to know that this happened. For them, it’s painful because it happened to them.
As tough as it is to sit down with some of these stories and truly process them, it is what we owe to these brave girls. They have chosen to revisit their darkest memories and share them with the world in the hopes that the discomfort and pain we feel when reading them will ignite something in each of us, causing us to join them in pursuing change on this issue.
Ignorance is bliss, but ignorance is still ignorance. The more we know, the greater ability we have to create change. We cannot have an impact on an issue we turn a blind eye to. As uncomfortable as it is to think and talk about sexual abuse, it can only truly be exposed for what it is when we do just that. I encourage you to read a little bit about this story and any others which you might initially shy away from out of fear of being upset or frightened. These are the emotions which are indicative of an important story which deserves the attention we may not be giving it.
Ultimately, if we want to create a better, safer and more just world, we need to welcome the breaking of silence. Whether it comes to sexual abuse, violence, crime, racism, discrimination, inequality or any other type of injustice. These walls need to be broken, and the only way to do so is to open our eyes, look around and see the armies behind us, willing to take on these walls and expose the dark parts of society if it means preventing their perpetration through future generations. Why judge and question those making themselves vulnerable in an effort to prevent future harm? Why let injustice persist when we have the power to knock down these walls as one? Why resist a step in the right direction? The only way to truly create a better future is to willingly open our minds. To stop, and empathize with those experiencing the injustices occurring behind these walls. Just because we ourselves might not experience it, that does not mean it does not exist or is not important. We need to learn to be compassionate and unified, otherwise we will waste time resisting what is only progress in the right direction.
To create a more unified and just future for our children, we must stand behind each other, and we must attack these walls together. We mustn’t slow down until there are no more walls left to tackle, and no places left for these monsters to hide. We mustn’t stop until each voice has been heard and each brick has been blasted to dust.
To a future of justice, listening, empathy and compassion.
To a future with no walls.