surprising lessons on meaning and materialism from a childhood classic
Like any normal fully grown adult, I have my phases of playing Disney songs on repeat until Spotify thinks it’s my religion.
During one of these recent episodes, I was listening to Part of Your World — a childhood classic from the Little Mermaid — when it struck me that there is a deeper meaning behind Ariel’s angelic voice and snappy rhymes.
The song is about Ariel’s desire to break free from the world she grew up in — her desire to access a world up above — a world she can sense is there, but can only access through her imagination and the carefully curated stories others have told her about it.
Despite being spoiled with everything she could possibly want in her world down below, she still feels an intense sense of emptiness inside… an undeniable yearning for more.
I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be awake — truly conscious, eyes open when it comes to our own personal direction and path.
For the vast majority of the working population who spend their day behind a desk, it can feel like they’re in a deep slumber; like they’re underwater, closed off to a whole world up above.
Given that we sleep for 30% of our day, work for 40%+, and have to do basic self-maintenance for 10–20%, that leaves us with about 10% of our time to do the things that we want to do.
10% to actually live our life — a pretty low rate of power over our time.
As a result, it can feel like days are spent underwater, blocked off from the world “up above”, where all of the good stuff happens. The flourishing, the new experiences, the meeting people, the exploring our interests and passions, the learning — the living.
All of the zest and juice of life is up there, away from the trading-your-time-for-money jobs.
Similar to Ariel in the little mermaid, we might have lots of things to distract us from this yearning for more.
Look at this stuff Isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl The girl who has everything?
However, despite the abundance of material objects, the sense that there’s something more creeps to the forefront of our psyche and plants itself there firmly, creating a gaping void that more things simply cannot fill.
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty! But who cares? No big deal! I want moooooooreeeee
When we think about it deeply, it seems fairly obvious that objects — things — won’t bring us a prolonged sense of happiness and meaning. Yet despite materialism’s somewhat obvious flaws, we still succumb to it. We fill our rooms, our closets, our walls, our cabinets with things. Things that make us feel good — momentarily. Things that bring us pleasure.
Until that feeling of emptiness creeps back in.
And then we shove that feeling down by convincing ourselves that trading our time for money is a necessary evil. And since we’re doing it, we might as well buy some more stuff to make it feel worthwhile. We might as well create a sense of “fullness” in our life, by filling it up with more things.
But the truth is that this doesn’t work in the long term.
Things don’t give us meaning, purpose, fulfillment.
What would I give if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Following our curiosity, nourishing our minds, seeking new experiences, engaging robustly with life — these are the things that give us meaning.
But to opt into a life of meaning, to float to the surface of our underwater world, breathe in new air, grow a pair of legs and walk on the streets, we need to completely restructure our mindset and the lens through which we view the world.
We need to rip up the contract we signed with society where we agreed to do what it tells us and not ask too many questions.
I’m ready to know what the people know Ask ’em my questions and get some answers
We need to dig deep, do inner work, ask ourselves hard questions — and then face our real, raw answers (the hardest part). These answers might demand us to make pretty dramatic changes, and figure out how to adapt to these changes.
It’s not easy or familiar going from a world underwater to one illuminated by the sun. But this awakening — this excursion into a whole new world — is the path to meaning and fulfillment.
Up where they walk, up where they run Up where they stay all day in the sun Wanderin’ free, wish I could be Part of that world
To crawl to the land up top — the world hidden behind our subscriptions to societal norms, materialism, and instant gratification — we need to look inwards and listen to our intuition, our answers, our gut.
We can start by making small changes to move us closer to where we want to be, and what we want to be doing. This will take time and active effort. It will be uncomfortable, difficult, painful, and unfamiliar, because our intuition is something that has been eroded for years in the underwater world.
When’s it my turn? Wouldn’t I love, love to explore that shore up above? Out of the sea Wish I could be Part of that world
To get to the other side, we need to opt out of the sense of helplessness we feel when it comes to our direction in life. We need to breathe in the fresh air from the world up above, and wake up from our underwater slumber.
But how do we get up there?
It can be daunting to go from here (the underwater world governed by society’s rules) to there (the world up above, under the sun, where we break out of the norms and find a path of meaning). It feels far away.
Here’s one way to start: When we’re feeling empty, lost, bored, or under-stimulated, we tend to reach for something to soothe us. These soothers come in two main flavours.
Type 1 soothers serve immediate gratification, oftentimes leaving us craving more soothing shortly thereafter, or worse, feeling guilty later.
Examples of Type 1 soothers:
- Shopping
- Eating (when you’re not hungry)
- Gossipping
- Social media
- Any traditional “vice” (drugs, alcohol, etc.)
Reaching for Type 1 soothers creates a viscous cycle of filling emptiness with a very temporary feeling of “fullness” — a hit of instant dopamine — only to later expose the same hole of emptiness, sometimes making it even bigger. This cycle can repeat itself until we decide to put a stop to it.
Until we begin to reach for Type 2 soothers instead.
Examples of Type 2 soothers:
- Going for a walk
- Calling a friend
- Exercising
- Writing
- Reading
- Drawing
- Doing pretty much anything creative
Sometimes it can be hard to get yourself to start a Type 2 soother. It feels frictional, impossible even, when you’re feeling down or empty. It is so much easier to reach for Type 1 and get the dopamine hit instantly.
But after Type 2 Soothing, it can feel like we are actually making progress in filling that feeling of emptiness — in a more sustainable and impactful way.
It is similar to when you’re super hungry and reach for a sugary snack to instantly take away the feeling of hunger. You might eat a candy bar and feel good for a moment, followed by an immediate sugar crash, leaving you feeling even hungrier than before.
Conversely, when you’re feeling super hungry and eat a wholesome, balanced, filling meal — when you’re done eating, you actually feel better.
You feel full.
This is what it’s like to reach for a Type 2 soother. The fullness lasts longer. It is healthier. And your hunger might even be less intense and frequent as a result of it.
To emerge from the underwater world and wake up from our societal slumber, we need to take daily steps in the right direction. We need to make healthy, fulfilling decisions when a feeling of disconnection or emptiness creeps in.
We need to reach for Type 2 soothers, and most importantly, we need to determine what is causing that feeling of emptiness, and take small, consistent steps to resolve that feeling.
It takes effort, mindfulness, and self awareness to get the other side of that feeling.
But it’s all worth it to be part of that…
