Frequent reflection lays the foundation for improvement, appreciation and an awareness of our own surroundings. Upon reflecting on this past year, I realized that there were a few powerful lessons I learned which are worth sharing. I’ve listed the most memorable and relevant ones here to hopefully shed some light on how we can create a more meaningful and enjoyable experience for ourselves.
1. Urgent < Important (more often than you think)
The greatest realization I came to this year was discovering the power in occasionally letting go of the urgent for the things that will be important someday. I am acutely aware of how rare and blissful the opportunity of being a university student is – to be around people who give me energy, to have the complete liberty to pursue what invigorates me, to be responsible for sustaining only myself, to be supported endlessly by those around me and to be awake to everything that is happening during this period of our lives. Each memorable, wholesome moment is one piece of the puzzle which will illustrate what this time in our life means to us. To complete the puzzle, we must be aware of each little piece to eventually get the big picture. Take the time to create unique experiences which will make the puzzle interesting. Frequently test your boundaries and say yes to things which you would typically shy away from – this is where the best memories (and stories) come from!
2. Youth is fleeting - don’t waste it.
They say youth is wasted on the young, but I think the young often waste their youth. Youth is precious, it’s fleeting, it’s passionate, it’s raw, it’s experimental, it’s enlightening, it’s eclectic and it is NOW. It is right here – these are the best years of our youth. We are awake enough to know just how precious this time is, and still young enough to live however we want to. We get to choose the kind of lives we want to create – we get to decide how we want to spend our precious youth. Take a look around right now, and think about how yours is being spent – think about the people you are surrounding yourself with, how you are spending your free time, the conversations you are having. These are going to be the defining factors of how fruitful this time is for us, and there is no better time than now to ensure all of these aspects are aligning to create an enriching environment for each of us.
3. Focus on increasing velocity instead of speed.
The feeling of “being productive” is addictive. We often spend so much time pursuing productivity that we can send ourselves in circles – constantly in motion but simply not getting anything done. When we begin to align our decisions with the pursuits which we genuinely enjoy and hold our attention, we develop motion in a specific direction, moving our needle closer to where it should be pointing. Conversely, when we say yes to everything to simply “be busy”, we end up wasting a lot of our own time and diluting our efforts in everything. The best thing we can do is focus on making decisions which will point us in the direction we ultimately want to end up in – this is how we generate forward motion which will benefit us – instead of chaotic, random motion which causes internal confusion.
4. DON’T GET DISTRACTED BY THE PATHS OF OTHERS.
Each one of us is capable of doing whatever we decide to do – these years are simply for figuring out exactly what that is. The truth is we are not all meant to do the same thing – it is simply unscalable and not feasible. Some people are better suited to certain things, and trying to force yourself into a mold you were never meant for is just going to chip away at the beautiful edges of your own natural state – your natural form; what makes you unique. Do not be afraid to say yes to things, and similarly, do not be afraid to say no. Both are integral to sending you down your own path. Use this time to develop yourself into a decisive and capable individual by jumping into that which is uncomfortable – that’s exactly where the magic (or serendipity) happens. The best way to find out what we most enjoy doing is to listen to our own intuition and trust our gut. The more we get distracted by the paths of others, the less clear our own path becomes. Getting used to being different and acting in alignment with our own intuition and natural fascination will send us where we’re meant to go – without spending all of our 20’s in the “self-discovery” phase. Simply GO FOR IT. Any decision will lead you to an answer; yes I love this, or no I want out. Both of those are EQUALLY valuable in finding what is best suited for you. Make it count, and do what you are drawn to. You won’t regret taking a chance on something you are magnetically pulled to – even if it goes against the tide! We thrive at what we are driven to learn about and improve upon – don’t let others make you feel like your interests deserve less respect than theirs.
5. Appreciate others. And tell them that you appreciate them!
While finding our path and direction is important, do not be oblivious to the incredible people and relationships in your life. We can never know how long they will last or when they will slip through our fingers and out of our lives. Make sure the people around you know that you appreciate them, and make an effort to show them their own unique talents. We have a responsibility to ignite a spark in those around us if we see something special. Act on that, and start their flames.
6. Be kind to others. Give, as much as possible, as frequently as possible.
Giving doesn’t have to be monetary – it can be time, emotion, empathy, recommendations, skills. Just. Give. Invest in those around you, and BE RAW. You can only truly foster unique and memorable friendships when you are entirely yourself and willing to be honest and open with those around you. People appreciate that vulnerability, and if they don’t, it’s a super easy way to see they might not be the best person to stay around.
7. Think carefully about how your actions will impact those around you.
Regardless of whether you consider it or not, your actions will impact the people you care about. The beauty of consideration for others is that we can channel that impact into bringing something positive and enriching to the lives of others, while mitigating any damage we have the potential to cause. By exercising even a touch of foresight, we can make a big difference in how we make people feel in the long run. Be careful with the words you choose and the actions you take, because all it takes is one impulsive decision to tarnish a relationship indefinitely. The good news: this is COMPLETELY avoidable! Train yourself to debug your brain as you feel angry or frustrated, and short circuit the emotion by observing what triggered it, stepping away from the situation and pausing to think before a poor decision is made. We can’t always control our thoughts, but we do have 100% control over our actions. This realization is imperative in accepting responsibility for our decisions and taking immediate steps to correct our mistakes.
8. Forgive yourself and others. There is alchemy in letting go.
There is genuinely no benefit to holding grudges – on yourself or other people. Evaluate mistakes, internalize the lessons, don’t make the same mistake twice, and move on. Learn from the mistakes of those around you and act intelligently with a hint of childhood naivete, which allows us to jump into things without overthinking consequences. This is how we truly move forward in any aspect of life.
9. Remember that you are a vessel for what you want to bring into this world.
Your ideas, thoughts, passions – all of that remains inside of you and will never come to fruition if you don’t intentionally put it out. Do it for you – let other people see things the way you do, and who knows – maybe you’ll change a few perspectives along the way! Most of us don’t realize just how powerful we are. “Many people will go through their entire lives on default – never realizing that they have the power to change everything.” We can change it all – all it comes down to is our decisions. Each tiny decision is one small arrow you are trying to line up with your ultimate goal. The more of those arrows you can get to point in the same direction, the farther you will go. If you don’t have a sense of direction yet – be experimental, and observe what sticks with you! This will aid in indicating where you want those arrows to start pointing. Remember that you are powerful and deserve to be where you are. Don’t waste this precious time in your life in a state of self-doubt or in an environment which doesn’t excite you. Be present and enjoy where you are, who you are with, why you are there – we never know when it will be done. I’d like to share a quote I discovered at the beginning of this semester which has largely shaped the lens through which I view my experience in university.
At the end of the day, all it comes down to is TIME – it is simply the most valuable resource in our lives, and we are lucky to have access to a plethora of it (especially over the summer!). Time moves quickly and it is non-refundable. Being conscious of how we spend our time, and intentionally investing it in relationships and pursuits which bring us joy is the best way to create a fulfilling experience. The present is the best time to start using it wisely and lay the foundation for a life with more free time in the long-term to do what we love, and maintain as much freedom as possible in our daily lives. That’s all for now. Each day is an opportunity to create, to be someone you would look up to, and to use your time fully and passionately. Your life is yours.