How to experience adventure and adversity in an objectively comfortable environment
Mural in Chinatown, Singapore
Some background: I’m completing an internship in Singapore as one of the 15 Cansbridge Fellows selected to complete a summer work term in Asia for the summer of 2019. The Cansbridge Fellowship is a Canadian-founded organization with the goal of equipping high-impact, entrepreneurially minded Canadian students with a global mindset and the unique skills which come from pursuing experiences outside of your comfort zone. Each of the fellows is writing 3 blog posts spaced out evenly throughout their internships about their unique experiences in Asia. This is blog Post 2 out of 3 for me. Read part 1 here.
The itch for more
Something I struggled with immensely in my first couple weeks in Singapore was the disappointment that I was not experiencing much of the ‘culture shock’ I had been primed and pep talked for before coming to Asia. The heat was a change, sure, but other than that I felt like I had all the comforts of my westernized lifestyle and then some, with Singapore being one of the most efficient and safest cities in the world.
I felt a sincere sense of emptiness and a hint of guilt for coming to a city which felt more like I was being spoiled and pampered, rather than challenged and torn down, which might have been the case if I had come to a more ‘culturally shocking’ place in Asia for my summer internship. I was’t sure how to pull myself out of this negative mindset, as I knew Singapore had lots to offer and that my experience would be enriching in ways beyond overcoming a nervous feeling of walking home alone at night looking over my shoulder wherever I went.
The benefits of ‘comfort’
The view from the patio of the gym I’ve been using in Singapore I recently purchased a membership at a gym in Singapore which sits on top of a beautiful glass building with an infinity pool spilling into a breath-taking view of the city’s Central Business District. The gym has genuinely been one of the best decisions I’ve made in Singapore and I’m truly grateful for it. When I was signing up however, I was asked to hand over my credit card information before committing to a 14-day trial. I was visibly hesitant, as I’ve been warned about what people can do with that kind of information. Noticing my hesitation, the lovely staff member who was helping me stated simply,
“Don’t worry. This is Singapore.”
That’s it. That’s all she needed to say. No other testimonies or promises or proof they wouldn’t do anything suspicious with my information. Just the simple reminder that I was in a city as secure and well developed as Singapore was enough to have me feeling confident that I could trust this woman, and a friendly reminder that being able to go about my daily life without the fear that accompanies a more unsafe place was a privilege I should cherish.
This was an aha moment for me. I finally realized the freedom I was being granted by living in a safe city, with the ability to explore and experience all the opportunities and experiences it had to offer, without the stress of worrying about my safety. I’ve used this lens to reframe what culture shock might mean for me in Singapore. Sure, I might not be looking over my shoulder when I walk alone at night or riding up and down noisy streets on the back of a motor bike, but instead I can take the opportunity to venture out and meet people on my own, take solo adventures , or engage with the city in any way I’d like.
Since this mindset shift, I’ve made it a habit to lean into what is known to be the flinch in the world of self-development. The flinch happens when you’re about to do something uncomfortable, and your survival mind tells you STOP. For example, if you’ve ever tried to take a cold shower, that feeling right before you step into that freezing stream, where your mind is saying “no no no no no no no no”, and willing you to stop — that’s the flinch. Of course, you only end up in that shower if you lean into the flinch.
Singapore x the flinch
One of my first Singapore x the flinch experiences happened the first time I decided to try the notorious Southeast Asian fruit Durian which some people love (don’t understand how), and some people despise (holla) — it all depends on how the flavour interacts with your unique set of taste buds (I’ve been told). This moment was the definition of the flinch as the smell of Durian is quite strong and distinct, and is known for smelling like rotten vegetables to most people (me). One could imagine that doesn’t exactly have you rushing to eat it, but alas, it’s a Southeast Asia must.
Before taking that first bite I knew I had to lean into the flinch and go for it. And even after barely being able to stomach one full piece of the fruit, I was really glad I tried it. After that moment, I decided that as cliché as it was, I would regret the things I didn’t do more than the things I did do. So if I was ever feeling the flinch creep in, I had to lean in and go for it.
By changing my thinking from , ‘Singapore isn’t an extreme enough change for me to experience culture shock’ to ‘I’m going to do everything and anything that makes me uncomfortable’, I’ve gotten to know more of the city and feel much closer to the culture than I did before.
A few things I noticed about the culture in Singapore:
There’s a little bit of everything.
It isn’t like the culture in the rest of Asia. Singapore is unique because it’s kind of a mosaic of three main cultures: Malaysian, Chinese and Indian. Each of these groups has their own little pockets of cultural potency within Singapore. I live in Chinatown, so naturally I’ve gotten a healthy dose of Chinese food and the Chinatown hustle I buzz through every morning on my way to work.
I’ve also dipped my toes in Little India, where most of the Indian community in Singapore resides. Their food is amazing (my favourite cuisine I’ve had here so far), and while I haven’t explicitly been to a part of Singapore which is primarily made up of the Singapore-Malaysian community, I know that the Malaysian culture and cuisine is also highly present within Singapore. It’s awesome to see that a country as fresh as Singapore (only 60 years old!) is really just an elegant combination of these incredibly rich and influential cultures from three unique parts of Asia.
It’s one of the best places for Expats.
Expats = Expatriates = people who have come from around the world to move to a foreign place and live there either temporarily or permanently.
Most of the people I’ve spoken to since coming here have been individuals from all around the world with incredibly interesting stories about where they’re from and why they’re in Singapore.
An investor from Australia.
An Engineer-turned-yoga teacher from Seattle.
A Canadian stationed here to open a company office in Singapore.
Students travelling from everywhere.
The list goes on. People always say that when you’re travelling you’ll meet more people from around the world than people from the place you’re visiting, and this is especially true in Singapore/Southeast Asia. It’s so easy to start a conversation with people sharing a similar experience to you, which is why the expat community in Singapore is so strong. The openness of the people living here who aren’t originally from Singapore has absolutely brightened my days and has given me a peek into so many different cultures and countries I never thought I’d have anything to do with this summer.
It’s more reserved than North America.
From my experience so far, on a spectrum of ‘keep to yourself’ to ‘all my best friends were strangers I struck a conversation with in the grocery store’ — Singapore’s culture is much closer to the keep to yourself side. While it might be easy to assume it’s a language barrier which keeps people more to themselves, that doesn’t seem to be the driving force. Many people from Singapore like to do their own thing, and seem slightly less used to the talk-to-anyone-and-everyone culture that is more potent in Canada/the US. In Canada, it’s pretty standard to start talking to a stranger, whether that be about directions, the book they’re reading, or to recommend the brunch dish you got at the restaurant you’re both at.
In Singapore, people seem to be slightly less inclined to do all that. This isn’t a positive or negative aspect of their culture, it’s just something I’ve noticed, especially as being someone who’s a lot closer to the strangers-turn-to-best-friends side of the spectrum than most. I have noticed though, that once they’ve warmed up to you, Singaporeans are as kind, welcoming and curious about you as they come. It’s been really cool to get to know some locals here as well and learn more about the culture through their eyes.
What I’ve learned from my time here so far is that the way to experience adventure and adversity in an objectively comfortable environment is to lean into the flinch. Singapore has shown me more of its character each day I’ve been here, and I’ve really started to appreciate the nuances of the culture I was missing out on before my mindset shift. I’m eager to see what else leaning into the flinch will bring me in Singapore this summer!