Realistic resolutions with a long-term vision
I was not originally planning on sharing my thoughts on what I wanted to work on this year, but I decided that at the very least this will give me (1) something to reflect on this time next year, (2) some social accountability and (3) possibly a bit of inspiration for someone else! Also, due to resolution #5, I needed to post something this week — so here we are.
I know the traditional goal-setting prescription is to make goals measurable, on a time-line, quantifiable, specific, etc. Some goals in here follow that format and some do not. Some of these are habit changes, while some are merely reframing a way of looking at things. More than anything, these goals and guidelines are meant to orient me in a direction I’m excited about in 2020. Let’s dive in.
1. Do more of what I enjoy/what I’m good at.
“I’ve known people who thought that reaching their potential would come from shoring up their weaknesses. But do you know what happens when you spend all your time working on your weaknesses and never developing your strengths? If you work really hard, you might claw your way all the way to mediocrity! But you’ll never get beyond it.” — John C. Maxwell, Leadership Gold
Something I found this past year is that spending too much energy on things which I’m not naturally interested in or talented at is extremely draining.
I’ve been studying Applied Mathematics and Engineering in university for the past three and a half years (only a couple months away from the coveted iron ring!), and full disclosure: theoretical math does not come naturally to me. At all. You might be thinking: well does that stuff come naturally to anyone? Short answer: yes. Surely, theoretical math does not come effortlessly to anyone, but some people I know are noticeably more gifted and interested in the field than myself, which means it might take them one tenth of the effort to achieve the same level of understanding/results. I used to view this as an indicator that I wasn’t as ‘smart’ as my mathematically gifted counter-parts, but I’ve come to understand that this is merely an indicator that we have different strengths, and should therefore spend our time and energy on different things.
“What is obvious to you is amazing to others.” — Derek Sivers
This past year I discovered a simple antidote to the self-esteem blows I was taking from my degree: the more time I invest in things which I enjoy and am good at, the better I feel about myself.
Creating a greater sense of individuality and confidence is made easier by leaning into the things which make me feel more like myself. There’s a distinct feeling I get when I’m trying hard at something I know I’m not meant to do which feels like I’m moving farther away from my authentic self. Focusing on my strengths makes me feel confident and gives me a clearer sense of my identity. Trying to be great at things I naturally have little to no aptitude in makes me feel inadequate and frustrated. Working on weaknesses can be beneficial to an extent, but stops being helpful when it creates a massive crater in our self-confidence and keeps us from focusing on our strengths.
The thing which feels easy to us — whether that’s art, math, music, writing, talking to people or anything in between — is what we should focus on. That is what we can be truly great at, because we can improve at it while enjoying the process.
Thus, my goal is to spend more time doing what comes more naturally to me in the coming year. That’s where I get my confidence from and it’s also where I have the potential to derive the greatest impact, success and enjoyment in the long-term.
2. Talk less about people and more about ideas
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
I want to discuss more of what nurtures my mind; stories, ideas, positive thoughts, and rich, new perspectives. These are the conversations which energize and inspire me. Conversely, talking about people/gossiping makes me feel uneasy and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Gossip is the easiest thing for people to connect over, but it’s the low-hanging fruit of any conversation — it doesn’t provide anything more than a way to pass the time. I’d much rather walk away from conversations feeling inspired and refreshed than guilty and remorseful.
3. Focus on nailing a few daily habits which anchor me
“You cannot be mentally healthy without a routine.” — Jordan B. Peterson
It’s much easier to get good at a few easy-to-do habits consistently rather than trying to do many things which end up all dissolving after a few weeks (think: the notorious super-ambitious resolutions which fall apart after January).
For the sake of simplicity, I’m focusing solely on nailing my morning routine — it’s the most important part of my day, and if I can just get my morning routine right this year, I will be satisfied! My ideal morning routine:
wake up between 7:00 and 7:30 write down my dreams from the night before write in my five minute journal meditate for 10 minutes do 3 vinyasa flows to gently wake my body up Giving myself time to do these few simple things creates a solid foundation for any day, independent of what happened the day before or what is ahead.
4. Read more fiction
“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” — Henry David Thorneau
I read a lot last year (favourite reads of 2019 coming shortly), but for some reason, by the end of the year I felt distinctly unmotivated to pick up another book — until I started a fiction novel. We’re evolutionarily programmed to resonate with stories, which is why fiction is so enjoyable to read, watch and listen to. It’s like escaping into a different world — or a dream — by simply opening a book. I realized that I’ve reached a critical mass of non-fiction reading where a lot of the books I’m reading tend to blend into each other and I’m not getting the same jolt of excitement or curiosity I used to get from reading the prescriptive non-fiction books I’ve always gravitated to.
Something about fiction opens up my imagination and gets me to think creatively. A good fiction novel has me reflecting on the same life lessons non-fiction is trying to get at, but in a much more creative and mesmerizing way where I feel like it was me who came to those conclusions, not the non-fiction author spoon-feeding them to me.
I want to re-discover my joy for reading, and to do that I’m starting out the year with a strict diet of fiction/biographies/memoirs which excite me. Open to recommendations!
5. Post something weekly
“You can be distracted or you can get epic work done, you can’t do both.” — Robin Sharma
I want to get back into a regular writing schedule so I feel accountable, motivated and in routine with my writing. This is going to require discipline and focus (hence the quote), but it will help me capture more of my ideas and stimulate the habit of articulating my thoughts more concisely, frequently and effectively for an audience. My only concern is that weekly posts may be too ambitious and cause me to fall out of schedule— so I’ll be trying weekly posts until the end of January and then re-evaluate for February if I want to proceed with weekly or move to bi-weekly posts. Consider this the first post of many for 2020!
6. Use my last semester of university to invest in relationships
“The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” — Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, director of the 75-year Harvard study on adult development
Soon enough, university will be done and all the people in my ecosystem will be spread apart and hard to reach or see at all. The people I want to hang out with during this last semester are two-fold; (1) I want to solidify the relationships with the people I envision being a significant part of my life after university and (2) take the opportunity to get drinks/meals/coffees with people I think it will be harder to see or hang out with after university due to distance, diverging paths or any other factor. This is the last time it will ever be so convenient to strengthen my relationships from university. It’s a lot easier to keep in touch or catch up with someone you’ve had a genuine, personal interaction or conversation with rather than just having chatted at mutually convenient social events in the past.
7. Pay attention to how things feel and adjust quickly in response
“You can know that something is wrong or right without knowing why. Your entire being can tell you something that you can neither explain nor articulate. Every person is too complex to know themselves completely and we all contain wisdom that we cannot comprehend. So simply stop when you apprehend.” — Jordan B. Peterson
A more general intention for this year is to make changes when I notice something I’m doing doesn’t make me feel good. There’s no point in waiting a full year to reflect on things like how lack of sleep, talking about people too much or irregular scheduling might be negatively impacting my life, especially when I had those thoughts way before I made any changes. Resolving this is simple: pay attention to how things feel, make a quick note to myself and make an appropriate change in my routine or behaviour.
I tend to spend too much time in the cognitive dissonance of knowing something isn’t benefitting me, yet continuing to participate in it. In 2020, I’d like to break that cycle sooner!
8. Be PRESENT
“Wherever you are, be all there.” — Jim Elliott
My main goal of this year is to just be really present. 2020 will be a year of some big changes for me — leaving university, starting my job, possibly travelling, generally just growing up — and I’d like to “be all there” for all of those major changes.
I’ve been thinking lately about why some memories randomly flash into my mind, and I’ve realized it’s because I was so present in those moments that I will simply never forget them. We can only fully experience any moment if we are present and not thinking about the future, the past or anything else. If nothing else went right this year, being fully present could yield the most beneficial effects of any resolution on this list.
So, let 2020 be the year of presence!
That’s a wrap for my 2020 goals and aspirations. I hope this brief list has left you with something to think about for your own 2020 intentions.
May you have a prosperous, joyful and healthy year ahead. Let’s make these ’20s even more roaring than the last!